Christopher Chelpka

7 (Sarcastic) Reasons to Keep Using Facebook and Never Try MeWe

Are looking for Facebook alternatives like MeWe? Maybe you’re a little worried about trying something new.

I understand.

Facebook is so familiar. And it can be hard to move on, especially if you have come to love, or at least not hate as much, some of Facebook’s unique “features.” Here are seven of them. Seven things that make Facebook different from MeWe.

  1. No formatting. Who needs fancy formatting features like bold or italics? Maybe you used to google “how to get bold and italics on Facebook” but now you know that basic formatting is ridiculous. Facebook is hard enough to learn without these extra complications.
  2. Relentless ads. And here’s another thing you’ve changed on. You used to hate ads, but now you kind of like seeing another Facebook ad every few posts.
  3. Targeted ads. What’s better than lots of Facebook ads? Targeted Facebook ads, of course. Ads that won’t stop until they run out of money or break your will through psychological profiling. Who wouldn’t want that?
  4. Algorithmic friends. Perhaps you like letting Facebook decide who you should be connecting with and don’t mind it when Facebook buries posts your friends wanted you to see.
  5. Insecure messaging. Sure you use Facebook to communicate with everyone from your pastor to your mother, but if you never say anything that is personal and important, insecure messaging may be best for you.
  6. Two apps. Messaging and posting in the same app just doesn’t make sense any more. These are modern times! And if you love Facebook, being forced to have two Facebook apps on your phone is definitely best.
  7. Facebook’s business model. Everyone has their preferences. And maybe you’d rather not pay $0.99 for a bonus emoji pack on MeWe, when you don’t have to pay anything for Facebook to sell you personal information strangers.
So… as you might guess, I’m posting on MeWe more these days. Come find me there! Or, if you are a cellist, if you study early Christianity, or if you are Reformed pastor, join me in one of these groups.

Cello Section—for those interested in all things cello

Early Christian Studies—for those who study patristics, late antiquity, early Christianity, etc.

Reformed Pastors—for ordained pastors who hold to Reformed doctrine and piety